‘She Was My Jewel of Inestimable Value’ — A Husband’s Heartbreaking Tribute to Mrs. Wofo Gwatana Dogwo of Kokulo

The events leading to the sudden and shocking demise of my beloved wife were as prosaic as any other. It was just another day  or so it seemed. Another culmination of innumerable episodes where her selfless, unwavering love and constant care shone through the night before. Acts that would make any man quickly remind himself of how lucky he is. Alas! That esurient guest death  struck.

The 8th of March, 2026, is not a day to be forgotten in a hurry. It is the saddest day of my life. On this day, I lost a woman who meant everything to me. My beloved wife, Mrs. Wofo Gwatana Dogwo Kokulo, otherwise known as Mama Raha by close family members, friends, and business colleagues.

Over a long time of marriage, our home was our haven. It was as the late sage Chief Obafemi Awolowo described it: "A place of happiness, of imperturbable seclusion from the buffeting of life." The common denominator need not be searched for; it was a good wife.

Through the unending vicissitudes of each day of those few months, through the changing scenes and seasons, her love for me was as unconditional as it was changeless — constant as the northern star.

It is difficult to say whom her demise hit the most: my humble self, the children, family members, friends, or business colleagues. Her sudden death has no doubt left a gaping hole in the hearts of all those close to her. Mama Raha's death left me despondent and fearful. As I am constantly reminded, the loss is not mine alone.

She was not just a wife, but my best friend and a good mother — as my good friends Wana Abu Yimaba and David M. Aguma, who were very close to her, attested. My wife had a heart of gold. She effectively played the roles of friend, confidant, role model, and mother. She practically directed my affairs and those of the family. She was my Chief of Staff. Wofo / Mama Raha was my jewel of inestimable value.

The pain caused by her death can only be best imagined. It can never be described in words. Aptly put by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in the poem "A Psalm of Life": "Lives of great men all remind us, we can make our lives sublime. And, departing, leave behind us footprints on the sands of time."

My darling wife has no doubt left indelible prints on the sands of time. While her physical death robbed the kids and me of the opportunity to see her again, death did not rob us of her eternal love. In my grief, my tears give testimony to the love I have for her. Our love was our bond, and death could not break it.

The grief and pain are unbearable for everyone she left behind. Moreover, her sudden death further confirms the brevity of life. Now I know better that life should not be taken for granted. Like Perseus answered boldly in The Heroes: "Better to die in the flower of youth, for the chance of winning a noble name, than to live at ease like the sheep and die unloved and unrenowned."

Her humility, affability, kindness, compassion, and hospitable nature certainly endeared her to many. The Bassa Women's Association honored her by paying their respects to the family. The Redeemed Church of Christ, Kwaita, lost one of its own. She was a rare gem and a silent achiever. From the testimonies around, I was once again proud to be her husband. All leaders of business associations and corporate societies, without exception, had good testimonies of her. Friends, colleagues, and family members kept giving good testimonies. I thank Almighty God once again that our paths crossed.

The pastor of the Redeemed Church of Christ, Kwaita, Barrister Afolabi, spoke glowingly about her when he visited the family. In his words: "Mama Raha is one person nobody has ever come to report to me or said anything bad about."

In the words of Hon. David M. Aguma, former Deputy Chairman of Toto Local Government Council, on his second visit after my wife's passing, he had these fine words to describe my beloved wife: "Late Hajiya Wofo, as jokingly named, was known in her lifetime as a loving, caring, industrious, tolerant, compassionate, devout wife and mother. She was an epitome of humility and love. The late Mama Raha was a selfless, honorable, affable, and good-natured woman."

My big brother and good friend, Barr. Yusuf Huleji Wodi, former Solicitor-General of the Federal Capital Territory Administration, when he visited me the second time after my wife's demise and spent another three days with me, said my wife's brief sojourn to the world was quite impactful, and that I should take heart, for it is painful to lose a partner.

Mama Raha was everything I wanted in a wife. I remember one of the last messages she told me six days before her departure from this earthly, sad world: "Let not our minds be choked by earthly riches, for that is nothing."

Little did I know that her life would be short. Now all I pray for is for God to grant me the fortitude to bear this irreparable loss. I will continue to hold dearly to that message and the good memories we shared.

Even though I have often heard the expression "fortitude to bear a loss" several times, I can honestly say that it takes grief for one to truly grasp the essence of that prayer. And more than anything now, I need such fortitude.

I am really going to miss her. These are trying moments for me and the family at large. I know life can never be the same without her.

I take solace, however, in the book of God, where God says: "We shall certainly test you with fear and hunger and loss of property, lives, and crops. But, Prophet, give good news to those who are steadfast — those who say, when afflicted with a calamity, 'We belong to God, and to Him we shall return.' Those people will be given blessings and mercy from the Lord, and it is they who are rightly guided."

This verse reminds me that being a believer does not mean we will never be tested or faced with difficulty. I pray that I and others pass the test. We will all continue to beseech God not to place on us a burden that is beyond us.

Her death has made me sit down and reflect. It has made me put things in perspective. I am still in a state of shock.

Mama Raha and I lived as husband and wife for twenty-nine years. All through this period, she was my pillar of support. Our relationship started from our teenage years when I was in secondary school.

Wofo / Mama Raha was my friend, my sister, my companion, my partner, and my wife.

Wofo, I miss the wonderful plans we made. The memories we shared will never fade.

Having you in my life was the best dream come true. Since you left this sad world, words cannot describe the emptiness inside me. I get so lost without you, but I am sure you are with the Lord. You are with angels singing and praising the Almighty, whom you served while on earth with all your heart. You can no longer be seen by human eyes, but your soul and the love you gave so many will never die.

I wish I could tell myself that you will be back someday, back to be with me again. I guess this is the way life goes. God's will must be accepted.

I miss a million things every detail of who you are. I miss your mind, your body, your soul.

I still say I am one lucky man to have been given the gift of you.

There are many things I think I should have done for you. Please forgive me for procrastinating.

You taught me so much by your actions in the time we spent together. You taught me the value of family. You taught me the value of the truest love.

I know that I should not question God, obviously, because He knows and has His reasons. But I cannot help constantly asking myself: "Why did you have to die?" We had a number of dreams we hoped we would realize. You served God fervently. Anyway, God knows best.

I know what you would love to hear and see, and I will endeavor always to do those things.

I wonder if I had lived the way you did, would God have taken me too?

They say only the good die young.

Adieu, my jewel of inestimable value. Rest in the perfect peace of the Lord.

Words cannot express your absence in my life.

With all my heart,

Your husband,

Gwatana Huleji Dogwo Kokulo